today was a good day i guess. i got a “very good” on my appraisal. i hate doing appraisals but i think this is the first time in a long time that i kinda looked forward to doing it. i didnt expect the report i got. it actually went better than expected. i feel good because i feel like my hard work was noticed and that my patience is finally being rewarded. i feel like i deserve this reward and i feel a little bit proud of myself now that im thinking about it. its nice to be noticed and its nice to feel like im finally getting somewhere.
i suppose that was the highlight of my day but everything else needs work. i didnt attend my class today. which is unfortunate because if i go by my feeling of the mid-term exam yesterday, i am failing miserably. in the middle of my exam i realised that i didnt know anything and my brain just wasnt engaged. i still have 2 projects and a final exam to work on so i need to put in the work and focus.
i also need to start looking for a new home. i hate the idea of having to move again. i hate not having a stable home. but my landlord wants to sell the place and i cant afford it so ive gotta move and settle into a new home. on one hand i hate the idea of doing this but then the idea of escaping the memories made with SS here. hes been on my mind a lot. i expect some sort of communication will take place between us soon as he prepares to get the rest of his belongings. one side of me hopes we will talk and he will finally soften his stance to hear and understand me. another side hopes that he will come and go quietly. i truly wanted him to just love me but hey … such is life.
anyhoo … theres a lot that i need to do to get my life on track but i feel completely distracted and bothered. but my work and recently received good report are helping me stay afloat.