im getting ready for bed and just mulling over things in my mind. and i figured i should make note of something that came up during the fight. now, i highly doubt this will help the current situation as i believe irreparable damage has been done, but i suppose it may help in the future.
it hurts me to be excluded from the life of someone i love and who claims to love me. the real or perceived exclusion leaves me feeling alone, left out, unwanted, unimportant, disregarded and ultimately unloved. now i dont expect to be included in every bit of someone’s existence but i do believe in and expect some amount of openness and value of my opinion.
as one half of a couple, i expect to be include in decisions that affect me and i really dont think thats unreasonable. so if my b/f and i make plans to go somewhere, i expect that if he wants to change them or if anything forces them to be changed, that i will be properly informed and not just at the last minute. and as much as possible, i should be given the opportunity to have an input in the change. now i know that in the case of emergencies and such this may not be possible, so save for cases like that i expect an effort to be included.
this is important to me because i believe that as a unit/team, we should be making decisions together and with each other, not necessarily for each other. its also important to me, simply because i think its a show of respect and commitment and desire. i think of it as a show of love and effort to make me a part of your life. i know you can choose whomever you want to be with and you can do whatever you want, but the fact that you took the time and made the effort to involve and include me in things you didnt have to makes me feel special and important. otherwise, i feel hurt.